Singable Songs (Hindi - Female)

I love singing and many times I am asked to sing at family get-togethers. So, here is a list of songs that I intend to prepare whenever I get a chance. I intend to keep adding to this list. Suggestions welcome!

1. Kaisi paheli zindagani (Parineeta)
2. Piyu bole, piya bole (Parineeta)
3. Samjhaavan (Humpty Sharma ki Dulhania) 
4. Pukarta chala hoon main (Mere Sanam)

When to plan a family with a career?

I have done a fair amount of off hand research on this topic and here are the most common reasons of having a baby -

1. Unplanned pregnancy - "Hush. It was a mistake!!"
2. Biological clock - "I crossed 30 and time was running out."
3. It was my dream - "I was born to be a mother"

There are two points to be noted here -

1. In none of the cases, did anyone ever state that pressure from family was the reason for having a baby. Well, that does make sense. No matter how much pressure family puts, they can't be in the bedroom and force you during the act! Also, I only spoke to well educated women (mix of both with corporate careers and full time home makers). So, most of them could hold their own under family pressure.
2. The women in Category 3 (It was my dream - "I was born to be a mother") were very very few. In fact, there was only one woman among almost 45 women I spoke with who stated that she really wanted to be a mother. She bravely went through two miscarriages followed by a series of hormonal treatments to get pregnant. She is now a proud mother of two and at the time of writing this post, quit her job where she had a promising career in a leading MNC. 

I am mulling this question because I am 30 and I am scared about how my life will change after the baby. I like kids but I am not sure if I can cope with the changes in my currently blessed life that I am living. 

The reasons for not having a baby were numerous. Most of them could be interpreted as procrastination. 

1. Stronghold in career - "One more promotion!"

2. Uncertainty in life - "We can barely afford our current lifestyle or there is no location certainty"

3. Lack of infrastructure - "Who will take care of the baby if I want to get back to work?"

4. Status Quo - "Umm..We are not ready"

5. Planned delay - "There's a lot of time before 30" 

30 seemed like a magic number. Women under 30 stated #5 as the most common reason. The ones above 30 were almost equally divided in the first four categories. 

Interestingly, no one stated changes in body figure as a reason!

Disclaimer: This was just an off-hand survey. The responses are assumed to be correct as they were results of heart to heart conversations. No notes were taken. No records were kept. The research does not include women who mentioned they would never have a baby in the future or are trying to conceive with medical help.

Dilbert on Work Life Balance

Why female colleagues find it difficult to bond with male bosses?

Fortunately, I have never faced any problems or taboos or missed opportunities for being a girl. I sometimes thank my parents for not having had a third child for the sake of having a boy. Because, looking at my relatives, while we all claim to be modern and equal, the implicit messages, the unsaid communication going to the girls of the family is still – we love you both to death, but your brother will get more attention. Maybe, if I had a brother, I wouldn’t have turned out like this.

I, on the other hand, have never felt any difference. I have never had those issues during my upbringing.

But when I started working, I started feeling…well..different. I shared a great rapport with my colleagues and bosses, but somehow, I could never bond with my bosses like my male colleagues. The bosses were always careful about what and how they spoke in front of me. They were guarded about uttering an abusive word or something offensive. They were cautious about coming the wrong way. And I respected that.

I also found it difficult to convey my thoughts, my ideas, my aspirations, my complaints, my problems. But my male colleague, who had the boss's hand on his shoulder every morning, never had any issue conveying his thoughts. I would only speak up when I was asked. The guy with the hand on the shoulder, would say whatever, whenever he wanted.

Although - If I have ever felt wronged, I have always spoken up. But somehow, whenever I have spoken up, I have felt guilty about it. If I speak up, I am told that I am greedy and a cribber. If the guy with the hand on the shoulder speaks up, well, he is just venting.

Let’s say - If the company were to have only women just like my parents had only girls, how would our current bosses treat us. A respectful environment with nobody having a hand on their shoulders. An equal environment to express and succeed.

In an attempt to have an equal environment within our teams, shouldn't we stop trying to treat women like we would treat men. Instead, we should treat men with the same respect and caution like women.