Fortunately, I have never faced any problems or taboos or missed opportunities for being a girl. I sometimes thank my parents for not having had a third child for the sake of having a boy. Because, looking at my relatives, while we all claim to be modern and equal, the implicit messages, the unsaid communication going to the girls of the family is still – we love you both to death, but your brother will get more attention. Maybe, if I had a brother, I wouldn’t have turned out like this.
I, on the other hand, have never felt any difference. I have never had those issues during my upbringing.
But when I started working, I started feeling…well..different. I shared a great rapport with my colleagues and bosses, but somehow, I could never bond with my bosses like my male colleagues. The bosses were always careful about what and how they spoke in front of me. They were guarded about uttering an abusive word or something offensive. They were cautious about coming the wrong way. And I respected that.
I also found it difficult to convey my thoughts, my ideas, my aspirations, my complaints, my problems. But my male colleague, who had the boss's hand on his shoulder every morning, never had any issue conveying his thoughts. I would only speak up when I was asked. The guy with the hand on the shoulder, would say whatever, whenever he wanted.
Although - If I have ever felt wronged, I have always spoken up. But somehow, whenever I have spoken up, I have felt guilty about it. If I speak up, I am told that I am greedy and a cribber. If the guy with the hand on the shoulder speaks up, well, he is just venting.
Let’s say - If the company were to have only women just like my parents had only girls, how would our current bosses treat us. A respectful environment with nobody having a hand on their shoulders. An equal environment to express and succeed.
In an attempt to have an equal environment within our teams, shouldn't we stop trying to treat women like we would treat men. Instead, we should treat men with the same respect and caution like women.
I, on the other hand, have never felt any difference. I have never had those issues during my upbringing.
But when I started working, I started feeling…well..different. I shared a great rapport with my colleagues and bosses, but somehow, I could never bond with my bosses like my male colleagues. The bosses were always careful about what and how they spoke in front of me. They were guarded about uttering an abusive word or something offensive. They were cautious about coming the wrong way. And I respected that.
I also found it difficult to convey my thoughts, my ideas, my aspirations, my complaints, my problems. But my male colleague, who had the boss's hand on his shoulder every morning, never had any issue conveying his thoughts. I would only speak up when I was asked. The guy with the hand on the shoulder, would say whatever, whenever he wanted.
Although - If I have ever felt wronged, I have always spoken up. But somehow, whenever I have spoken up, I have felt guilty about it. If I speak up, I am told that I am greedy and a cribber. If the guy with the hand on the shoulder speaks up, well, he is just venting.
Let’s say - If the company were to have only women just like my parents had only girls, how would our current bosses treat us. A respectful environment with nobody having a hand on their shoulders. An equal environment to express and succeed.
In an attempt to have an equal environment within our teams, shouldn't we stop trying to treat women like we would treat men. Instead, we should treat men with the same respect and caution like women.
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